Wendy T. Behary AUTHOR OF Disarming the Narcissist
Understanding Narcissism
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Disarming the Narcissist
Featuring Advice About "How to talk to a Narcissist."
Communicating with a self-absorbed person is tricky and frustrating, and sometimes intimidating. How do you get them to understand your point of view? Wendy Behary explains to the lay reader that the trick is compas- sionate, empathic confrontation. Understanding the narcissist will
help you slip past their defenses
and communicate with them more effectively.
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“Anyone whose life predicament includes dealing with a narcissist will be well-advised to read Wendy Behary’s book and heed her advice...”
- Daniel Goleman,
author of Emotional Intelligence
- Daniel Goleman,
author of Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing the Narcissist
“They seem well-assembled and self-assured, sometimes with a saccharine wit,” says Behary, cautioning that they can
also “quickly pull the rug out from under you, reducing you to boredom, tears, apprehension, or disgust without a flinch.”
Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:
1. Self-absorbed
Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled
Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning
Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding
of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful
Suspicious of your motives when you’re being
nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic
Rigidly high standards - his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish
Believes he or she is superior to you and others;
gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking
Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic
Uninterested in understanding your inner experience,
or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful
Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive
Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive
Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached
Steers clear of feeling
“They seem well-assembled and self-assured, sometimes with a saccharine wit,” says Behary, cautioning that they can
also “quickly pull the rug out from under you, reducing you to boredom, tears, apprehension, or disgust without a flinch.”
Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:
1. Self-absorbed
Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled
Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning
Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding
of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful
Suspicious of your motives when you’re being
nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic
Rigidly high standards - his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish
Believes he or she is superior to you and others;
gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking
Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic
Uninterested in understanding your inner experience,
or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful
Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive
Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive
Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached
Steers clear of feeling